Day 17

The Non-Zen of Painting

I want so hard to be someone who paints.
To fix up my house with ease, instead
of feeling overwhelmed and burdened
because we're painting the kitchen cabinets.

I am not that at-ease person. I put off
the job as long as I possibly could,
waiting til the month our house
needs to go on sale. We hadn't known
if Mike would get a job offer or not;
painting was the least of my worries.

But now? I wish we had painted years ago,
when Remy used to nap, or when
we had more money to hire someone else
to do it. I wish we hadn't bought this
much loved but so in need of work house.

I wish I were different, someone who painted
effortlessly, who saw the taping up and dropcloths
and cleaning brushes as fun, as meditative.
I wish I could blink my eyes and be done.
And soon enough, I will be done.
But first, I have to do this work.