Going into the middle of July
Although clearly it is July, for some reason, my inner clock has not caught on yet.
Perhaps because, as I mentioned, it really only just got hot enough for me (after having lived in Mobile, AL for five years) to call it summer.
Perhaps because we are still in limbo (or nearly so) in terms of buying our house. (Our forever house? Oh, let's all hope so!) We have a closing date set, but it's ten days after we need to move from our current digs! ARGH!
Perhaps because Rems is still in school (albeit on a slightly smaller schedule than the normal school year). Bless the school district for an extra month of "summer camp." He loves it. He gets to see his friends for one last month.
Speaking of. Wow. It's really hit me that this move really may be much more traumatic on Remy than our move last summer. He's learned so much and is now so much more aware. I had the children's librarian find me some moving books for small kids. (We have mentioned we're moving. Obviously. But I want to make it clearer. Oh, it is so damn hard when we don't know the dates/ where we'll go for ten days if we have to!)
I guess what we do is go with the obvious: we have a date we have to leave here by. Start there. We're leaving here and going... where?
It's obvious I'm not entirely sure this short sale will go through, isn't it? I think/hope/want it to. But at every stage, there's been more uncertainty than not.
Uncertainty. I can't shake that, can I? It seems like at every transition in my life, the worst part is always the uncertainty. I like to know. I like to have my facts straight and be clear. (I am a natural researcher. I believe wikipedia and google basically exist to give me information.)
But there it is. Nothing is certain. Existentialism 101. (A class in which, believe it or not, I got a B+ in. I wasn't entirely sure why I didn't get an A. But a B+ wasn't the end of the world, though it may have felt that way at the time...)
We have two and a half weeks to pack. Well, we'll probably do it in one. We don't like to be in boxes one bit! Better to do it as quick as possible.
We've got our real estate lawyer working on our potential U&O. We have other options, too, but they're not as easy.
What was I saying about easy again, just this morning? Oh yeah. LOL
Well, grant me ease. I'll keep practicing this not-knowing, this uncertainty. I'll keep staying in the now and being where I am.
Have I earned it yet?
I will definitely miss these trees that overhang our lawn. And I'll miss the ease and the easiness of our walks into town (where we're moving is walkable, but not quite as much as where we are now).
I will miss the trees in the backyard. And our neighbors, who are all delightful. A year here and we've made good friends.
I am so looking forward to having a house of our own again, though. I'm just impatient, that's all. I'm thinking of tons of creative projects to do to keep me from pulling my hair out, waiting! (My latest idea: a huge patchwork quilt. Oy. My sewing skills are not up to that level!)
Is it August yet?