Working Through It
Sometimes, you just have to work through it, whatever it may be at the time.
Frustration. Anger. Sadness. Grief. Fear. All of those, or none.
And frankly, if you are anything like me, you may not be able to sit with it, you may have to grit your teeth and seethe or even get loud and shout (oh, I try so hard not to, but I am human, only human).
And you sit with what you can. You seethe. You breathe. You remember to breathe.
And that's how to get back. One breathe at a time.
We (most of us) come back from that edge. Eventually. We calm down. We work through it and work hard to ensure that nothing fatal is said or done (some moments being more difficult than others, some arguments cutting deeper to the bone, some thoughts being harder to evade).
Practice is required. Or else how would we be able to breathe at all, in these moments? How would we ever come back?
Wisdom teachers remind us to thank our enemies (or our loved ones who hurt us) for helping us practice.
After. After. After.
And if we're diligent, if we keep practicing, it gets easier to calm back down. Or so they say. I'll let you know when that miracle occurs. I'm still working my way through the practicing. The breathing. The calming. After.
This is it, I remind myself. This is how I practice. This is how I live. One moment at a time. One breathe at a time.
This is it. My wabi sabi imperfectly perfect life. The ups, the downs. All of it. All of it, beautiful and true and very, very human.