Lexie Link Love
The Fantastic Quotes Edition:
Lexie Link Love started because I love reading and I love to share the things I love with you. I post a lot of links on my personal facebook, but I realized I wanted to collect my favorites somewhere and thus a new feature was born, seven months ago!
I've mentioned Neil Gaiman here before (because he is, in truth, one of my very favorite authors, and also he looks a lot like my husband and thus I think he's quite hot). Neil writes award winning children's literature and sums up why here:
Making fiction for children, making books for children, isn't something you do for money. It's something you do because what children read and learn and see and take in changes them and forms them, and they make the future. They make the world we're going to wind up in, the world that will be here when we're gone.
~ Neil Gaiman
I believe we're making the world we wind up in right here, right now (always and ever) and so I think this may be one of the most important articles I have ever read on the internet: Birthing Yourself.
Perhaps the point is for us to birth ourselves, to love ourselves, to speak to ourselves the way we always wished that others would speak to us, to hold ourselves gently, to practice ruthless compassion for ourselves, and to never again spend another moment (time that we can never get back) wishing that someone else could have done that for us.
If I walk the world with the belief that it’s my job to birth myself–oh, how the game changes. Oh, how much more compassion you can have for the people who raised you, or the great love who left, or the hurts that are so hard–especially when you see that it’s damned hard to give yourself the kind of all-encompassing love and compassion and care that you long for, from another.
~ Kate Courageous
A lot of bloggers write about unconditional love (I'm one of them). Unconditional Parenting (a fantastic book) is a practice I'm fairly deeply committed to. But Kate also reminds us, ever so gently (from the perspective of a child, not a mother) that it is not possible to be the perfect parent. That perfect unconditional love is, absolutely, too much to expect from ourselves as parents. But to give this gift to ourselves (and children will learn what they see), that is the most important step we can take.
There are (unconditional) parenting blogs that might vehemently disagree, who would say we can parent unconditionally. Maybe. Perhaps, though, we can all agree that Playful Parenting's Lawrence Cohen was right and we must fill our own cup first.
Me Ra Koh (an amazing photographer and a homeschooling mom), writes about her "aha" moment on this issue: Your cup doesn't have holes at the bottom! (Good timing for me to read this one, because in a week, I'll be going on vacation with my beloved husband, alone for the first time since our son was born. My awesome MIL and her awesome partner will be staying with Rems while we are gone. It's a little scary, but we're doing it and it will be great.)
Medicinal Marzipan writes about filling one's own cup from the perspective of relationships: loving someone who doesn't love themselves:
The thing about love – reciprocal, intimate, lasting, nourishing, fantastic, gorgeous, exciting love – is that it requires that both parties believe that they deserve to be there. It is impossible to participate wholly in a relationship with another person when you are constantly tripping over your feet, getting in your own way, and demanding all of your attention.
~ Medicinal Marzipan
And finally, this reminder from Art Asana: we are never without support.