Last year, it hit me early, the seasonal affective disorder (SAD). By September, I was down and struggling with spiraling into a dark black hole. I started taking large doses of vitamin D3 and St John's Wort and it helped. I was able to get through the dark of the year without struggling the whole time. (I also considered buying myself a lightbox and going on Western meds was definitely on the table, in case the other remedies did not work.)
This year, for whatever reason (the D3 and the St John's Wort, perhaps, or perhaps my getting out and shooting, creativity alleviating whatever loss I have felt due to the changing light), the SAD did not start hitting me until this week.
Just after our return from Seattle.
Now, I am also willing to concede that I am just plain old sad about not being in a new, awesome city, exploring anymore. And add to that the weird, unexpected November school schedule that left me with very little on-my-own time this week, and um, yeah, some wicked PMS, and yeah, I can accept that it isn't just SAD that has me down the past two days.
But it sure isn't helping, this lack of light.
The effing sun is setting at 4:40 tonight!!!
(It sets five minutes earlier in Seattle, a change that I can actually feel, but because we mostly stayed on East Coast time the entire time we were there, I was waking up early enough that I actually saw the sunrise a few times. So there was more light for me there. I'm not an early morning person, though, not one bit, so I am unlikely to see sunrises on my own coast's time.)
And don't get me started on Daylight Savings Time.
I'm struggling again. That downward spiral is staring up at me (I haven't started down it yet, but I can see it is there, waiting.) So, because I know that the key is to stop myself before I start spiraling, I am choosing to be very proactive right now.
I'm upping the vit D again and adding a new form of magnesium that I am hoping won't have digestion issues. And I think I'm going to get a new lens (a lensbaby) to play around with, since creativity is so key for me.
And if I have to, I'll buy a lightbox or go on meds.
I know my options and I am grateful to live in a time where I have so many.
And eventually, as it always does, the light will return.
It never really went away.