at the end of the week



When all your desires are distilled
You will cast just two votes:
To love more and be happy.
- Hafiz

I guess it should come as no surprise to me (but it does, it does) that even though I do not have a traditional job, by the end of the week, I am still ready for the weekend. 

Actually, this week I was ready on Wednesday. I'm a little frazzled. And I have a sore throat. My mood  spiraled down, kept from tanking by tremendous loads of self care, and now seems to be spiraling upwards, slowly. It was work to keep myself from drowning in the bad mood. Worthwhile work, but still work that has taken its toll.

As a stay at home /work at home mother/ artist who has a kid full time in school, I spend more time on my own -- something I need to stay happy -- during the week. But our after-school week routines are still wonky because having to add homework into the mix throws us all off. He loves it, don't get me wrong, but he is hyper x 1,000,000 when he's done and that's making bedtime harder and more frustrating and I find it difficult to shake it off after he's asleep.

We'll find our groove. I know we will. Transitions are transitions and we just need time. But this week threw some PMS hormones into the mix (and that sore throat) and so I am frazzled, frazzled and needed calm and weekdays with my boy just aren't calm.

Meanwhile, weekends are still our lovely, no hurrying, shelter. We try to do one main thing a day (shopping for groceries or going to the zoo) and then we just play the rest by ear. Remy is still really energetic but we can set a more relaxing pace and find a balance that works for all of us. 

Weekends keep me sane. 

And we hire a babysitter for a few hours each weekend and go to the movies, or to lunch. This also keeps me sane, because spending time with my husband is one of the things I crave.

To love more and be happy. 

Oh, Hafiz. You were wise, indeed. 

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Do these notes about the photos help anyone? This shot was taken with my dslr and processed with picnik. 90mm lens (crop factor = 135mm), f2.8, 1/400s, 100iso. That shutter speed was off, in my opinion, which is why I processed it, using the "lomo-ish" effect. Also, I cropped it into a square and of course, added my url.