sickness and health


Oy, this week. 

It started with a headcold. That turned into an inflamed uvula (for whatever reason, that just happens to me sometimes, it hurts like a mo-fo). And then an ear infection. 

I think I have swimmers ear (otitis externa), but I'm not sure. As to how I got swimmers ear when I wasn't swimming, well. Let's just say the combination of thick mucus in my sinuses and nasal irrigation were a bad choice for me. I got the angle wrong or blew the water back into my ears. It happens. It didn't hurt until it did. Then I spent yesterday thinking I could just drain my ear and it would be fine. Nope. Not fine. It's just keeps filling up. To the Drs with me.

Fun. Times. 

Through it all, I'm staying present to what is: Pain. Uncertainty. More pain. Lots of ibuprofen. Trying to figure out the cause of the ear infection. Needing to be present with my son when I couldn't speak because of the swollen uvula.

Oh, it is hard. So very hard, being human, having this frail body that has always had issues with being sick.

I can't shut it out or pretend it isn't happening. (I also couldn't type yesterday, lying on my right side, trying to drain my ear.) This is my reality, the reality I write about.

This is my life. My wabi sabi, sickness and health, life.