reflecting on im/patience


Yesterday, at the height of my impatience, Remy put his hands on my arm and gently stroked, saying, "Mom, I only want you." And when I said I was losing patience, he said, "Find a little more patience, mom."

My boy, he is sweet. But more than that, I have been modeling what to do when someone else (namely he) is losing patience since he was born. Calming words, sweet touch, simple requests. Over and over again. Every time (or just about - sometimes I loose patience, too).

And maybe it's just echolalia (but it isn't), but I find that the repeating back to me of my own lessons is the best thing I can hear to diffuse my own bad moods.

Yesterday, I would have liked to cuddle up on the couch and read all day. But Remy was excited about his video game and needed my help playing. And so I helped, which was fun for a certain amount of time, but also got boring and annoying after awhile and I started to loose my patience with him.

This is life with a kid.

And today he is back at school, in the same great mood as yesterday, not at all sick (and no one else got it, thank goodness) and so I can have my day cuddled up on the couch finishing my book. Until he gets home and we start the after school routine (he needs to eat immediately, and decompress for awhile and then we do homework together - which today will be doubled up, no doubt).

This is life. My life. My awesome, amazing, wabi sabi, human, life.