choosing


A thing that comes up for me a lot (especially around the turning of the seasons) is this: too many choices make it awfully hard to choose.

I can get stuck in the pattern of research, research, research and never decide anything. (Until I do.)

Sometimes that serves me well (I don't tend to buy electronics or other higher priced items without researching the heck out of them first) but sometimes, especially when the decision is "what direction do I go in" (professionally) the options are just bogging me down. Especially since a lot of them are "shoulds" - even though I have committed to "not shoulding myself." Like, I should be sending out poems and photos. I should be making more videos to show off our vacation photos. I should be printing out photo-books. This list goes on. Just. Ugh. Stop already.

And really, what it comes down to, what it always comes down to for me, is just picking something and doing it. Leap!

Even when I fail, it's better to have taken the chance. Always. I learn a lot from failure, if nothing else.


Yes, I've failed some during this expanding year. But I've also persevered and had big (for me) success. It's been all about experimenting, which has been really freeing. I'm finding the success in the failure because I'm not taking it personally.

When I quit as the magazine I'd only just begin co-editing? That was a fail, by most accounts. I still like the idea of editing a magazine, but it needs to be completely my own. And there's success in learning and trusting that need and in navigating an amicable quitting.

The Lex Letters were a complete failure. They were just not popular. I love the three of you that bought one. But yeah, that's a failure. Three letters (plus two that I gave away) does not add up to financial success. I spent much more time and money on them than I received. Significantly. And that's ok. Even as I count it a business failure, I still feel they were a personal success because I really loved doing them. Analogue has my heart.

Poeming Into the Now? Was successful, in my opinion. Small class, but great interaction. It was so much fun (and hard work) to guide poets as they wrote one poem a day. I loved it! I'll most likely be running this class again.

The 52 Weeks Poeming Project? I'm not quite sure yet - it's a great group, but we're having our mid-year doldrums right now, and I think everyone feels like they are behind. And it is an even smaller group than Poeming Into the Now (we gained one and lost several), but that's ok. I know every poet by heart and love them all.

Would I run a 52 week project class again? I don't think so. Once a week interactions don't work very well in the long term like this. I think the 52 Weeks format is much better suited to a book (personal project, not a group project) and so it shall be, after I am done. I do love that I am writing at least one poem a week and I plan on keeping up with that habit. And I find that I love writing prompts. Getting to use my teaching skills again has been one of the great blessings of this expanding year.


Lessons learned, I continue expanding. I've been thinking about directions to take again and yesterday I decided I needed to stop thinking and just go. What can I do right now?

And then the answer came clear as a bell.

There's another online class waiting for the right time for me to teach it. The name came to me in a flash last night before bed. Boom! It feels like a truth bomb, the title. I love how that works. I just need to put the lesson plans down on paper (so I can see how long it needs to be - I already have a rough estimate) and I'm ready. I'll just jump, once again.

(Dropping a hint: I've talked about this idea before. I am so glad I didn't do it in July, that would have been too intense. October will be the right time.)


I was thinking about running another session of Poeming Into the Now in November, but now I'm leaning towards doing NaNoWriMo again. I have a book that's starting to itch inside of me. An actual, fictional, fantasy book. With probably some post-modern twists, I'm sure. (I don't think it would be mine without those, somehow.)

If I do decide to go for NaNoWriMo, I'll be going dark on the daily blogging. Possibly just running photos. Possibly scheduling posts from the archives. I know I cannot write here and write that amount of fiction every day. (I have tried and failed.)

We are once again traveling during November (and my awesome MIL and her partner are coming for two weeks) but I know NaNoWriMo can be done.

And then December. My birth month. And I still need to decide what my gift to the world will be this year. Last year's giveaway was astoundingly awesome. Something awesome will happen again this year.