diving deep


Instead of slipping into nostalgia, today I thought I'd make a new double (really triple) exposure: a photo of (what I assumed was) a Japanese playground, the parking lot of Trader Joes and the prayer flags over our back door.

What I am thinking about is the interplay of right here and memory.

At the moment I took the first photo, I was right there, in Japan (and what a treat that was). And then, taking each of the other photos, there I was. Right in the moment.

And now, here I am, sitting and writing about memory while the Counting Crows song "Mr Jones" plays (I could not make this up) and outside, the "flurries" of snow start sticking to the branches of the evergreens beside my office window. (I have smaller paper prayer flags hung on that window, so I see prayers everywhere.)

Oh, it's no secret winter is dragging me down. The question is, how far am I going to let it drag me? Can I get dragged all down, past the undertow and transform? Go all in, so that being dragged isn't something that is done to me, but something I am actively participating in?

Diving. Deep.

Yes.

I am/am not the younger version of me. I am/am not the me I will evolve into. I am right now me.

I am the sum total of all - all that was and all that could be in this existence of mine.

And "I" am none of it: bigger than anything that this brain of mine could comprehend.