transforming


This feels like the winter that will never end.

The littlest hint of spring arrived this weekend and then was promptly chased away by subfreezing temperatures. Yes, it's another polar vortex. I could cry, but it seems ridiculous at this point.

I needed a reminder, so I went back through my archives. Flowers, beaches, green green grass, sidewalk chalk. Oh, trees with leaves. And then this butterfly grabbed me.

This winter is transforming me. I'm still too much in the middle of it, so I can't see what the changes will be. But I know this bitter cold is a catalyst. I am transforming under my layers of thermals and swants.

I hope it isn't just wearing me down. I feel worn down ("like butter scraped over too much toast."). Saturday was the first day I didn't feel like that, and it was the warmest day of our week. I was positively ecstatic.

I bounce back. Yes, I'll bounce back from this effing polar vortex. There's no point in wishing it away. I will let this cold-fire transform me, I will let it be what it is. Because it will be what it is, no matter what I wish.

Yes.