boundaries

This #archivallexseries photo is a mashup of the Grand Palace in Bangkok, Remy at Legoland and a beautiful bare tree from Wednesday in the foggy rain. I processed the Grand Palace in waterlogue, then doubled the original photo over it and added the other two photos in Picasa. 

I have so many thoughts floating through my mind this morning (almost afternoon).

Some days I don't really know where to start, until I'm asked.

What I need to remind myself today is that it's ok to wait to be asked. And it's ok to not need to be asked, too. (And it's ok to ignore the ask, if I need to.)

Being a friend to myself (so I can be a friend to the world) means limiting what can pass through my boundaries. I learned how to do that painstakingly, in my twenties and early thirties (after a very painful teenagehood). I stopped watching movies and TV shows which would disturb me. I stopped reading or watching the news on a regular basis. (It's amazing how much one can pick up just via social media. And of course, the internet is always here when I need to find out more about a specific situation.)

But there's more to boundaries.

There's saying "no" to people who need too much. And there's drawing a line in the sand that will not be crossed. I know where that line is now. I have done that work.

And really, it is work. If you are a sensitive person and have "thin skin" you need to do the work of boundary setting even more than most people. It's beautiful to have "thin skin" - it's beautiful to be sensitive, but it means needing to set limits on the things you cannot handle in large amounts.

And most of this, maybe even all of this, is work on our own beliefs. Letting go of the need to not miss anything. Letting go of what isn't serving you. Letting go of taking things personally. Letting go of expectations. (And more.)

No one else can do this work for you. I had the way pointed out to me (thank you, thank you, thank you) and so I help point the way out to others, as much as I can.

But just as pointing to the moon is not the same as the moon itself, telling you (or even myself) about how to set boundaries is not the same as actually setting them. Only you (or I) can do that work. That beautiful work.

So that we can live in this world and not be scorched by the pain and yet, not numb ourselves.

Yes.