finding the point somewhere in the mess



a million opening possibilities are swirling in my head. that's nothing new. it's just a good sentence to start with this morning.

i'm thinking about art because today is the last day of remy's extracurricular art class.

(remy practices art everyday. so many different types of art, in fact, but drawing seems to be his most favorite medium. or guitar playing - and my goodness, my kid can jam. i put some clips up on instagram yesterday: he was just blowing my mind, playing the blues.)

((the song he's practicing in those clips was one that he was given sunday by his guitar teacher. we had to co-coach him, m and i and the teacher, through not giving up because of the difficultness of the song/ the new picking style his teacher wants him to learn. he was having a full on, i cannot do this meltdown. two days later he's jamming with it. yes, this child amazes me.))

(((m was practicing the song before rem started yesterday and shaking his head at the difficulty of it. he's learning, too, in helping rem practice. he amazes me, too.)))

and then while i was thinking about art this morning, i read this amazing post by David duChemin.

((((yeah, you noticed there's no capitals this morning, except his name. it's my blog, my art, i can not capitalize if i want to. it's a choice, not laziness. uncapitalized feels more down to earth, more stream of consciousness, more poetic. always has: like a whisper in the dark, or the oneness of the universe.))))

(((((but. not capitalizing someone else's name feels disrespectful.)))))

((((((these multiple parentheses are fun! that's the first - and only - exclamation point i've used in this whole piece. wow. today is really an uncapitalized day. on and on and on and yes. stream of consciousness. hello oneness. hello multiple sidetracks.))))))

and David duChemin's post on critique was even more relevant than usual because i woke up this morning to read that someone on facebook didn't like my photo from the day before.

and while i could have deleted the comment, or argued, or gotten upset or snarky or sad (and believe me, a lot of those responses formed and unformed while i was reading and then processing the reading of the comment), in the end i just shrugged.

ok, you don't like this one. i hear you. that's a valid response to art, a gut response.

but it isn't a critique. it isn't actually criticism. it's personal feedback.

i don't really write or post my art in order to get feedback, even positive feedback, though i don't mind reading it, positive or negative. i'd be more interested in actual critique, but like the article says, it helps if i respect your work and you have an interest in what i'm working towards, artistically. i'm working on leaving a legacy.

and maybe that's just weird, because in this day and age it seems that we've decided that socially, everyone liking everything is the point.

(((((literally and figuratively.)))))

you can even click like on this post for lolz and giggles, as my friends would say.

but it isn't the point. it isn't the point at all.

i'm not saying i'm completely a 'creativity for creativity's sake' person, because i am not, but as a practice, as a daily practice, art definitely needs to be created for the sake of creating.

((((and then it can be edited. and edited some more, if needed. and then shared or performed or published or recorded or whatever. in whatever stage of finished you want to share it in. because the thing about social sharing is it's kind of this fantastic combination of sharing one's process and sharing one's finished product and that's brilliant, because we can see the greats and how they get great. and also the not-greats, but whatever. process is fun.))))

so because i aim to create something every day, and today was shaping up to be this gray, slightly wet, foggy, beautiful day, after dropping my kid off at school (because m had to go in early) i took my big camera out and shot photos of the weeds in the backyard, drying on the stalk.

(((i love weeds. they're so beautiful, in a non-traditional way.)))

((there's so much beauty in this world.))

and since i was thinking about art and remy and remy's art (and my art), and also there was this layer of seasonal longing, i found an older photo of him painting on our last, so beloved, back porch. and then i made a double exposure, in the #archivallexseries. making art out of him making art. and i feel like it captures the feeling i was going for this morning; this wabi sabi, messy, melancholy, run on sentences and paragraphic diversions, autumnal beauty.

and then i tried to write it out, in this so-painfully-almost-prose-poeming-run-on way.

but i didn't make it for likes, even if it is a finished product and i'm hitting share after i edit it for the fifth time.

i made it to remind me. and maybe to remind you: life is short. and messy. be here now. see the beauty and the love everywhere, in everything, while you can.

(even the end is beautiful. painful beauty, yes. grief is painful. love is stronger.)