rehabiting

 

I've let the routine of waking up and going straight to writing go.

It started with having one cup of coffee on the couch while I checked my feeds then blossomed into listening to music on my new bluetooth speaker and reading on the couch until it was time for school pickup.

(Why didn't I have a bluetooth speaker before? I have no idea. Streaming Spotify from my phone is awesome!)

And since I never get on my desktop computer, the day gets away from me, and I find I haven't written at all.

I didn't write today.

(Actually, not true. I journaled by hand on my Synch. That thing is fantastic!)

But I didn't write here, that's what I mean.

So tonight, I'm writing in the bathtub.

I've always done my best writing at night. I ignored that fact in favor of making writing an everyday, easily accomplished habit. And it worked, for awhile. For years, in fact.

It hasn't been working since the summer, not really, and that needs to be acknowledged if I want it to change. Which I'm pretty sure I do. Although at times, the lure of "why bother" is fairly strong.

(Why bother, dear self? Because this is your legacy, your archive. Because this matters, deeply, to future you and is a gift, in trust, for the generations after you. Just the knowing of the days, of the heart of you, of the seasons you've lived and the love you've nurtured.)

So here I am, acknowledging that the old way isn't working and that a new way needs to be found.

And find it I shall.

It may take time, but this blog nourishes my creative self and so it is worth finding a new routine. A routine that nourishes me, that nurtures me. A routine that makes sense in the day to day of my life.

(Yes, I'm working on my word for the year and I think I've narrowed it down to two candidates. Bonus points for guessing them!)