beyond the loop


I tend to "live in my head" a lot, as they say, often (if not always) pejoratively.

That's what intellectuals do. That's what semi-introverts (I'm really an ambivert) do. We think. We debate and ponder with our own wit. And this is not at all awful! This is awesome!

American culture is very anti-intellectual, and this to me is one of the symptoms that hurts most: being made fun of for thinking too much. Being in my own head. (Who's had should I be in?) Wanting to read and read and read and obsess about what I'm reading. That's the basic building block of research.

Mainstream American culture doesn't understand research. At. All.

Eff that noise! I am an intellectual human being and I embrace my need to think things through!

There are some downsides, of course.

I can get so wrapped up in thinking (and overthinking) that I can't sleep. Insomnia sucks.

I can not look where I'm going. I can trip on the obvious. I can forget very important things.

And I can get caught in a research loop.

That's what I caught myself out of yesterday - a research loop that had turned back into its self a few too many times.

(I'm doing that about a few things right now. One of which is the "to take camping equipment with us on our road trip this summer or not." lol. I do not consider myself a camper, but there's been some amazing tech advances in camping since I last went with my family as a teenager. Inflatable tents? Pop-up tents? Whoa.)

Anyway, one of the many ways I get myself out of an overthinking loop is to get creative.

Yesterday I pulled myself out of a silly research loop by going back to basics, using an app I already had to color some pretty pictures.

Today, I decided to get one of the other apps I had been debating. (Sketchbook, by Autodesk, for those who care. I was also looking at procreate and artrage. And a few others that didn't make the final cut. And a specifically watercoloring app - Auryn - that I may still get, just because it seems interesting and different.)

So now I have a new tool in my art making repertoire.

Playing is fun!

And useful, to help get me out of an overthinking loop.