rethinking/reworking/reevaluating

 

in doing a quick review of my blog this year, I realized I started off doing my normal blogging-as-archive thing and then somehow decided to start doing blogging-as-travel-tips (which I like doing, but isn't a strategy that will work for me long term) and then somehow segued that into recaps, which ugh, sent my autumn post-election tailspin into a not-blogging thing. 

(not a new thing, these past few years.)

I decided a day or two ago that I am going to do another 365 project but that this time, it will be entirely hosted on my blog. focused on writing, not image making. 

(I will still do both, since adding a photo to my posts is important to me, visually.)

writing here, every day. 

gulp.

today that seems like an overwhelmingly daunting task. 

which means I really probably need to do it. but I may only commit for the first month and then reevaluate. 

I feel the need to write more. 

and I feel the need to write *here* more. 

and I feel the need to write longer again, too - get back to the book (second draft, still needs doing) - and then I sort of got the seed for another (possibly shorter?) book today. 

with these feelings, it's important to remind myself not to should on myself. 

having a blog hiatus this last month and a half is ok. 

I am allowed to be scared and anxious and feel overwhelmed. and I am allowed to come back when I am ready. 

and to remind myself: what I am doing in life is enough. it is just that adding writing back into my life is something that calls to me. 

I am a writer. I write. 

sometimes I have fallow periods. there's ebb and flow. 

I think I'm ready to revive this blog. I think I'm ready to commit to writing here daily again. or just to posting a photo. or art. 

something. every day. 

I'm not sure if that will be daily as in every single day, or if I'll give myself weekends off. I'm not sure if this will be an actual 365 project, or just a daily blogging challenge. I am feeling my way through this, one day at a time. 

which basically sums up next year for me. 

and life in general.

moment by moment. 

yes.