atonement




I'm going into Yom Kippur in a peculiar state of mind this year. 

on the one hand, it was a mighty hard year and we've all got a lot to atone for. (I know I do.)

on the other hand, it was a hard year and I feel like someone needs to apologize to us for it. someone needs to atone for all of it. (a scapegoat, if you will. but one who claims responsibility for this almost-geddon.)

my concept of g-d isn't one of corporeal-being-ness, but ugh. I almost wish it was, right now, just so I could hold someone responsible. just so I could berate someone for this shittiness. 

I guess that's part of being an adult. knowing that sometimes, there's no one to blame. shit just happens. everyone is to blame. 

social injustice is social. we are society. and yet society is bigger than all of us. 

I am to blame, and you are to blame. and no anyone is to blame. just as much as anyone else is. 

(which I guess comes back to no blame.)

and still, I find myself needing to make the public apology. needing to know that I've shouldered my share. 


if by my actions or inactions, by my words or lack of words, I caused you pain, I am sorry. 


may all beings find remorse. 
may all beings be forgiving. 
may all beings recieve justice.