November doldrums





it's November. what a month. all of the sudden our weather is cold and wet and windy. winter is coming. 

I'm prepping for our big December trip. I decided to change my strategy this weekend - renting a car the entire time and staying 30 minutes away instead of splurging on a hotel close to universal studios. this just made more sense (we can stay for three nights and go for two full days instead of a day and a half, not to mention that I'll be able to get more rest after our early morning flight. flying to Vancouver reminded me of how much traveling "costs" spoon-wise). 

meanwhile, I'm feeling the push pull of the world, but letting go of some of my constant news checking anxiety. if there's a nuclear attack, I'll find out anyhow. I don't need to constantly inundate myself with all the shit that's happening. 

(I still find out anyway. I don't live in a vacuum.)

and it's cold and I'm having a reflux flare because I ate some tomatoes yesterday and ugh. reflux sucks. 

(my triggers appear to be tomatoes, citrus, garlic, spices, red wine, chocolate and most of the time, coffee - but I bought some special acid reduced coffee that I can drink a little of, if I brew it cold, but mostly it's not worth the reflux. strangely, out of that list of foods I love very much, garlic is the one I miss most. I would have thought it would be chocolate, but I can still eat vanilla and caramel. garlic is a flavor unto itself, and it's one of my favorite things. mincing a raw clove into some olive oil and eating it with a gf baguette? super yummy. alas, that's not happening anymore.)

with all this bleakness, I have to make sure I keep my hope (optimism and gratitude) alive. that's where trip planning comes in. and watching silly movies with my family. and playing games. 

I do what I can to get through the doldrums. 

(I write it out to remind myself, as always.)

yes.