poeming monday

In the Weeds

my life caught up with me
all the doing and the undoing:
                               full stop
all the creating and the tidying:
                               full stop
all the advising and the wondering:
                               full stop

there's only room to lay on my side
because this ear needs to drain
and i can't hear you anyway,
things that are telling me you can't wait

i can't hear you anyway

there's an ocean on my right,
whoosh-whoosh, thump-thump
drowning out the rest of the world
muffling out all your so called problems

and here in the weeds
the only thing i can hear is me:
                               full stop


The pain from this ear infection is definitely lessening, but I still have a temporary hearing loss in that ear. As the infection clears, I should be able to hear again, but the past few days have been the perfect reminder to stop my endless striving and just be. I don't feel awful, but if I don't pay attention and lay down when I need to, my ear fills up (this is totally just how it feels, not a medically astute reading) and starts feeling worse. It just needs to drain, it seems. (I've been using that phrase a lot. Sigh.)

"In the weeds" is of course, a restauranting term. I never worked in a restaurant, but the photo of these dandelions brought the term to mind - I am forever taking photos of so-called weeds - and it seemed a really appropriate metaphor to my reaction to this infection. It'd be easy to think I'm in the weeds right now, unable to do the things I need to to keep on top of everything, but if I slow down, paradoxically, I realize that I am already on top of what I need to be on top of. It's losing sight of that that brings me down.

Although I have been complaining to my poor husband because I would like to roll onto my other side for symmetry's sake. And I don't like being in pain. And I'm kinda bored. Full stop.