Already this year, I am stretching my edges. Expanding my comfort zone. Letting myself feel more fully the terror and grief of this world and the beauty and the love.

Already this year, I have seen movies and read books I never would have seen only a few months before.

Already this year, I have started moving past the terror of "what if" and started embracing the knowledge that "what ifs" happen and the real question is what comes next.

What do you do after your child has been killed? What do you do after the seas rise? What kind of person are you, fundamentally?

Not the person before the gun is held to your head. What person are you after you've shuffled through the ashes of your old life?

Already this year, I am declaring once again the person I am, the person I knew I was after the gun: the person who stays, the person who helps. The person who holds everyone else, who holds herself.

The person whose embrace will expand to hold the whole world.