what is not mine to control (i let go of) and i am grateful
Ah, this morning:
* Dealing with a recess issue. (It's being taken very seriously and probably is much less horrible than I imagine, but my mama-bear came out last night - any hint of other kids being mean to my kid and I am just like, "OH HELL NO!" and that's just the way it is. I am too aware of bullying issues and their long term effects, so I have to nip this kind of thing in the bud. End of public story.)
* Dealing with trying to figure out how to synch the photos I've been taking from the app I downloaded last weekend to my computer so I could use these photos with this post. (So. Many. Steps. To. Do. Something. So. Simple. Sigh.)
* Dealing with trying to wrap my head around it being Passover already. This is a SPRING holiday, people. It is supposed to SNOW today where I am. (And I have already seen some flurries.) This is not spring!
And none of this is really under my control, so all I can do is go back to gratitude:
* My son is protected by a web of people who love and care for him. There is greater understanding of his needs than there were even ten years ago. We are proactive and he is fundamentally ok. He is loved and he is happy most of the time.
* Having figured the issue out, I am grateful that I a) have the wherewithal to figure this kind of thing out and b) have the technology itself to need figuring out. I really love these photos and I wouldn't be able to share them (much less take them) without technology. Gratitude.
* Happy Passover, peeps! It really is one of my favorite holidays, even if we're missing the spring weather aspect right now.PS: My husband found some gluten free matzoh this year, how's that for crazy-awesome-cool!
And so I let go, into the ebb and the flow, the remembering, always the remembering:
* Remembering that I cannot control everything.
* Remembering that gratitude and kindness can open up a little bit of space inside the pain.
* Remembering that I always have this present moment.
And in the interest of full disclosure, I have to tell you that I found the gratitude in the writing of this post. I was feeling really (really) frustrated when I started writing and I wrote myself into a better mood (and edited out some of the complaining for flow). This is my practice. This is part of how I take care of myself. This is (part of) me.