life: storms and rainbows

This week was a great example of what I know it means to be human. Pain and grief and happiness and joy all rolled into one. Storms and rainbows. And both are beautiful. Pain and grief and happiness and joy are all just part of this being human.

My husband's grandmother's best friend died (his grandma passed in the 1990s). May her memory be a blessing (and may M's grandmother's memory continue to be a blessing).

Remy had a mostly great week at camp, with one little bump yesterday.

I am very happy with the writing I did this week and feel like I touched a lot of people with Wednesday's post (and it reached many more people than my regular posts do) and that makes me truly proud. I love writing this blog. I love writing. It feeds my soul.

I got a comment on FB this morning from someone who may still be holding on to a comment I made (on a private group thread) that I didn't realize she'd take as personally as she did. I had apologized (really did not mean for her to take my comment personally, but I stand by my statement). As I know full well, apologies don't always help, when we're holding on to hurt feelings. (I can only take responsibility for my words.)

And so with that in mind, I would like to point out for the record that loving your body unconditionally does not mean not treating it with medicine or making changes that feel good to you. Part of the point of learning to love yourself unconditionally is being able to distinguish between shame and pain. (Shame feels like pain, until we see that it is actually a layer on top of pain.)

If you are in pain, seek treatment. You don't always have to live with pain. Sometimes you do, because there's no real solution. Our bodies are fragile. We do the best we can. We try new things. We live, until we die.

Remy is asking about going to the NY Comic Con and oh, my geeky mama heart is exploding.

I'm not sure we can this year, since our October travel plans are still a little up in the air. Still, how fun would that be!

I finishedwell, sort of finished did a lot of shopping for our upcoming trip to Thailand (new shoes, yay! Also quick dry towels and a lot of other things). And someone asked me about the Lex Letter. I haven't been feeling very gung-ho about the letters, to be honest (it feels like work and I kind of just want to take off all of August). On the other hand, it is creative work and I thrive on creative work. And I would really be happy to connect. I am thinking it up.

My friend's son had a relapse. My heart is radiating with "bottomless, can’t-hold-onto-it-ness" for them. He has been doing so well (and was just about to "graduate" from chemo) but then he started having headaches and the headaches were a signal the cancer had reemerged.

Heart stone by nature, drilled by 5 Elements Design. Necklace design and text added on the photo by me. 

We're (possibly) going back to Toronto (M has a conference) this fall! So excited. As a place I used to live, Toronto still holds a piece of my heart and I have a lot (seriously, a lot) of friends there. Including people I've never met in "real life." And former neighbors who I literally saw every day for the year we lived in the same building.

It feels weird to be thinking about other travel plans (at least two and possibly three trips before the end of the year) after the trip to Thailand.

Going to Thailand is So Big for us. Three whole weeks! An entirely new continent! A totally different not-at-all-Euro-based language and "alphabet!" A way-too-many amount of hours in airplanes, there and back!

Moment by moment, that's how a life is lived. How my life is lived.

Oh how I love it. The pain and the joy, the storm and the rainbow.

My heart radiates. Indeed.