when in doubt, practice radical self-care

practicing when it's hard means this:

when i feel unreasonably sad, like nothing i can do is enough, like i am not capturing anything new and the whole thing is fruitless and what the fuck am i doing thinking anything i have to offer is important or good (oh voices, you are so mean, but i know you mean well)

that, that is when i need practice the most. that is when i feel most glad that i have this practice to fall back on.

that is why even though i woke up in a really sad, autumn-misery-melancholy-grief place, i know that i have a practice that can help me through it.

radical self-care is called for on a day like today.

so today:

i will listen to Lonely Island (and also probably some emo music, too - but Lonely Island makes me laugh, oh my goodness, do they make me laugh). i may even make another lip synch video just because that was fun (with many, many thanks to Liz Lamoreux for being all in).

i will snuggle up on the couch with some tea and my soft purple blanket and write in my journal (i just decoupaged the cover today - photos on instagram later today) and then i will write some more. because writing helps. always.

i will continue reading the fabulous book i randomly found at the library last week (The Thinking Woman's Guide to Magic - wow, it is great) and keep gathering the NaNoWriMo ideas that it is sparking.

i might take myself out for a photo-walk, if it isn't raining. or maybe even if it is raining. umbrellas are good.

and most importantly, i will remember my inherent worthiness. that every one of us is unique and important. embodied magic. that we each have a story to tell. that arbitrary numbers don't matter. and i will remind myself that the turning of the seasons, and the lessening of the light, and the hormonal maelstrom that is the middle of my cycle is just a damn perfect storm and it isn't the end of the world.

(a good end-of-the-world movie usually cheers me up, too. perspective is good. so that's on my self-care list, too.)