embracing the process (my hair is growing out)
|An outtake from the #365lex project last week.|
My hair is growing out. I don't want to shave it now that the weather has gotten cold. I like the shagginess as it grows out, as long as the top of it stays upright and not fallen down, like bangs. I dislike bangs very much on me - they look great on other people, but they irritate my forehead. As long as my hair dries backwards instead of forward, it stays off my forehead (this headband helps and makes me feel kinda badass instead of feeling "too normal"). I am not adding product to it at all. (I could, but again, do not want to.)
My hair is growing out. I occasionally miss my dreadlocks, especially when I see other people with dreadlocks. Nostalgia. I love that aesthetic. I do not miss having to dry my dreadlocks after washing them (which could take hours, even after I cut them shorter). I do not miss the taking-so-long-to-dry at all. I miss other aspects, but not that one. I had dreadlocks for six and a half years. It is ok (appropriate, even) to miss them. It does not mean I regret shaving them off. I don't. It was time.
My hair is growing out. I have not colored it. I occasionally miss the bold colors of my twenties. The bright blond of bleached hair. Right now, I like seeing what color it is, in reality, as it grows. I am paying attention, trying to discover that moment when it first turns towards gray. (My husband's salt and pepper hair is inspiring. I adore it.) Reality is more fun right now than bold colors. That does not mean I regret dying it before. I don't. It was more to dye it back then. Now it is more fun not to dye it. I may dye it again. But not today.
My hair is growing out. I have not had it cut since right before we went to Thailand. I occasionally miss having it be so short, shorn to my head. And I am occasionally missing the mohawk. It still stands up, but it isn't a hawk anymore. Right now, I want it to be shaggy so that my neck won't get as cold. We could reshape it, but probably won't until spring. By then, I may decide to let it grow longer, just because. Right now, I have no long term ideas. I am just letting it be what it is. And when I get an idea to change it, that seems fun, I'll change it.
My hair is growing out. It is my hair, entirely, just as my dreadlocks were my hair, entirely. An expression of me. I don't do things with my hair that I don't want to. That may be the most important thing I learned from having dreadlocks, after all. My hair is just my hair and I can do whatever I want with it. If I want to brush it, I brush it. If I want to dye it, I dye it.
I can let it be what it is, without thinking much about it at all. I'm not thinking about it much at all these days. It is what it is and what it is is what I embrace.
This entire blog was prompted by the above outtake from my 365 project that I liked too much to not post. It got me thinking about my hair, and the growing out process. I know a lot of people find growing out hair to be annoying - and it is, in some respects. But it isn't, because it is what is actually happening, right now. I'm enjoying it because why not?
My hair is growing out. I am embracing the process. I am embracing this moment.