crossroads (again)

Flowers from last spring over a photo from this winter.  #archivallexseries

the thing about living consciously and making decisions consciously is that there are an awful lot of times when choices pop up and need to be dealt with and making choices isn't always fun and games - sometimes it feels like standing in the middle of a crossroad, naked and cold and wondering which way is the way to the steam room. and omg, is there a steam room? i sure hope so. otherwise i'm just going to be cold.

why i'm just figuring that out now remembering that again right now is beyond me, but it seems to be seasonal (and also school year related). of course.

and there are monthly choices. and daily ones. and every moment choices, too. (do i read a book or clean the shower? reading wins, 9 times out of 10 - and that tenth time is the time i post a little blurb about it over on facebook because i'm so proud of myself. yup.)

but for the blog, for art/business stuff, i tend to revisit this conversation about twice a year. end of winter and summer.

what to do? it's funny, because the more secure i feel in terms of where my personal art is going, the more the business aspect slips away from me. (mostly because i do not like the idea of mixing the art and the business, except in teaching. or books. and creating books takes a lot of intensive design time. and marketing. lots and lots of marketing. and i am never sure i have enough energy to even get started.)

i don't know where i'm going (once again).

i know where i am.

i like where i am.

but i feel like there's a path, just out of sight, waiting to be found and walked.

and maybe it leads to a nice warm steam room.

*the steam room analogy comes out of my discovery last winter that the steam room at our gym  is the best thing in the universe. i like them much more than saunas. we had a steam shower in our house in mobile, but it wasn't all that great, mostly because i couldn't sit/lay down in it and it didn't really get as steamy as a real steam room.