Yesterday was an inadvertent blog-holiday, since I had to leave the house early for a meeting and didn't get back until it was already time to pick Remy up. And then I settled into the post-school routine. We have to do what we can do.

This afternoon is our create-next-year's IEP meeting, where we get to discuss the results of the vast array of testing Remy got put through this year and hear the recommendations of each team member.

(Yesterday's meeting was with a colleague of M's who helped us sort through the results in advance and gave us questions and points to make at the IEP meeting.)

I really do not know what will happen.

On the one hand, it seems like it will end up being a same-old, same-old (he gets a similar IEP with new goals and similar accommodations). But on the other hand, I want this enormous array of tests to mean something, to change something, to help him keep adapting.

(Thank goodness I know his core team wants what is best for him.)

And so I'm feeling emotionally vulnerable today. Fellow IEP parents will relate, I know.  Even though our IEP experience has mostly been an abnormally collaborative affair (given our past and current academic statuses), this year I feel more out of my element than before because I have more questions than I have answers.

Can I/ should I push to get Remy into a gifted program (at least for math)? His overall IQ (which is "above average") was significantly lowered by a few incongruently low results, which our neuro friend suggests might be more indicative of testing fatigue. She suggests we ask what the team makes of the discrepancies (in one test, he did better at matching three terms than he did with two terms, which is not something we'd expect, given his other test results. And it was not explained in the report we received). And further, she suggests we ask to retest him in those areas.

But it could be that those are the valid results and not a result of attentional issues or testing fatigue. And that retesting won't change anything. And then - perhaps we can get him into a higher math class? He is already so far ahead in math concepts and I know he would love the challenge.

But I know I am biased on this subject, because I was a bored student. Not in math, except that one year, but in all the other subjects where my advanced reading comprehension made all the repetition we had so. boring. I could - and did - read Romeo and Juliet in one night. My class stretched it out for two weeks and I was only allowed to talk about that day's homework, instead of the entire play.

We'd have to wait six more months to get him retested. And I'm not sure it's worth it. We'll bring it up. The neuropsychologist we consulted knows what she's doing. That's why we took the time to see her and talk to her about the test results.

We'll see what today brings.

We'll see.

Meanwhile, there is all this beauty, everywhere. And that is enough to get me through a little emotional vulnerability this afternoon.

All this beauty, everywhere.

(And my new-to-me autoharp arrived just now, yay!! More on that later.)