fantastic autumning

what is, right now:

* realizing that living in the now sometimes means having fantastic fantasies and that's ok as long as i don't hurt myself with wishing for things that can never be or thinking that i can make things manifest, just by wishing for them.

* realizing that part of fantasy-living, for me, is figuring out what the fantasy feels like, so i can live my way into those feelings.

(fantasizing about moving to california: i can't do anything about the logistics of being able to make such a move. but i can realize that what i miss most about california is having physical connection to the land. and being closer to family. and how i can bring those things to my life, now, instead of wishing for something that probably won't happen.)

* realizing, yet again, that the goal isn't to be perfect, even in living in the here and now.

* realizing that if i do layers my way (read: bright and colorful and fun), i don't feel as constrained by them.

* realizing that i really do love my swants and they make cold weather way more bearable. yes, yesterday was the start of #swantsseason and i have two new-to-me wool sweaters to turn into new swants - including a pair that i think can become overalls! sweateralls? swoveralls? whatever, they're warm, that's all that matters. (i may try this style of making them next, since it makes a little more sense to me.)

* realizing that there are a lot more things i can do to make the cold more bearable. i have not exhausted my brain or my budget. (as in, i think it's time for a new winter coat.)

* realizing that right now is really fantastic, autumn and all.