shells make me think about beachcombing makes me think about injustice makes me think about love

it occurs to me that i haven't been to the beach since Casablanca.

we've never really been able to get a beach habit going here. we've tried, but it just isn't easy, the same way it was easy to get to the beach when we lived in alabama. and maybe part of this is just the increasing busyness of having an older child (who wants to play soccer and do things) but mostly i think it is that we got so used to the warmer waters of the gulf of mexico.

(it's not warm enough to swim in in the winter, but it was never as cold as new jersey.)

or maybe it is that i am the only one of our family that feels the need to go to the beach and walk along the shore. the salty air is home, for me, in a way that it isn't for m or remy, and i recognize that, but i do need to connect to the ocean.

this week is (american) thanksgiving, and i am feeling as conflicted by it, or more, than previous years.

how hypocritical it is that even as "we" are celebrating our supposed welcoming into this new country as refugees by the native people, all over the country, loud voices are calling for the halt of welcoming refugees. refugees refusing refugees.

to be very tumblr-white-girl about the whole thing, i just can't even.

and oh my g-d, i really can't even with the neo-nazi presidential candidate calling for american muslims to be identified and mosques shutdown or put on a watch list. this is beyond scary to me, it is at a point where i cannot read anymore about these ideas. i am putting my efforts into being proactive that this atrocious plan will not come into effect. and if it does, g-d forbid, i will stand with my muslim(ah) brothers and sisters. you are not alone, dear ones. daesh does not represent islam, this we know.

as our collective american/ world drama is at a seemingly all time high (of maybe my adult life, at least), thanksgiving, in terms of a day of gratitude seems like a very good idea. but the baggage of the holiday weighs at me.

so perhaps it is very fitting that my little family is doing thanksgiving on our own, completely spur of the moment, unplanned and untraditional. like an adventure, the way we do.

we're just gonna make the foods we like.

we're just gonna be together.

we're just gonna play games and be silly and read and make art and maybe watch a movie. like any other day.

(and i'll undoubtedly pontificate on the false history of the traditional thanksgiving narrative and other social justice issues because that's what i do.)

and because we're being extremely low key about the whole thing, maybe we'll end up with last minute guests (or get a last minute invite). i don't know. that's the beauty of not having a plan.

and maybe i can convince my non-beachcomber guys to go the shore with me. perhaps friday, when it is going to be a beautiful high of 63, sunny and mild, perfect for going outside and celebrating buy nothing day!

and also, i'll probably watch this "adele saves thanksgiving" sketch from snl a bunch of times. Because even though (most of) my family of origin and the family i married into is at least socially liberal, we still have our political differences (mostly of the far left vs not quite as far left vs moderate variety - interestingly, we kind of swap stances, depending on which issue we're talking about) and LIP SYNCHING.

(i love lip synching so much.)

what we love can save us. i believe this.

fear and hate will not win. injustice will not win.

love will win.

love is winning.

because love.