trust: being human

being human is difficult.

we fuck things up, over and over. in our own lives. in the world. on the internet.

and being human is also amazing.

the things we fuck up are usually ok. eventually.

(I'm talking about most fuck ups, not life altering fuck ups.)

it seems like the life altering fuck ups are getting more and more pronounced and awful right now. on a societal level, with our government here in the US being hell bent on destruction and chaos. the past few days have been harder than usual and the usual is pretty fucking hard right now, what with school shootings and white supremacy running rampant, police shootings and ICE raids.

it is really fucking difficult being an empathetic human being right now.

and yet, here we are. being human means being here, being present, being empathetic to what is. trusting being human. difficult or not.

trusting that the nature of being human - the good parts and the bad parts, the ebb and flow - is enough.

trusting that our work towards justice will turn the tide. eventually.

even when it is difficult.

(especially when it is difficult.)

* I can't say that I trust that belief everyday. most days, especially right now, I still can only hope. hope that we will get through this. hope that after the chaos, order will be regained and it will be an order that is better for everyone, especially those that were previously marginalized. part of the reason this year's word was "trust" is that I knew it was something I needed to focus on, to gain. it's good to hope - hope is what keeps us going in these darkest days - but trust is stronger and I need that kind of strength through the long haul. 

the hour is later than we think, to paraphrase LotR.