today is

today is: 

starting to pack up the living room shelves

needing to go get boxes so I can pack up the living room shelves

(all because we lost a screw for the projector mount somewhere in the shelves last night after the projector bulb burst while we were watching Babylon 5 and we had to take down the projector to see what model it was so we could order a replacement bulb. which arrives tomorrow)

a heavy reflux day (I think the low acid "mellow belly" coffee I bought on Amazon is neither low acid nor mellow belly. I'll go back to my usual low acid brand)

waking up in the middle of the night (because reflux) thinking about doing my everyday journaling during this nomadic sabbatical year on patreon

and how I could send postcards from this trip as a reward tier 

(and/or on etsy)

and wondering if that's worth it or if I should just rededicate myself to blogging here more. or even just go back to Instagram. or maybe this level of randomness is perfect for now and thinking about it at 3 am is as silly as anything else I can think of at 3am. 

and then waking up too early this morning (also bc reflux) and being on the verge of an epiphany about hyperobjects and why I love the unknowable (aka the "too damn big for human minds to comprehend" unknowable) so very much

(thank you, reviews of the Southern Reach trilogy for giving me this new word/ paradigm.)

(thank you, Jeff VanderMeer for giving us the Southern Reach, which truly is a beautiful hyperobject of a trilogy.)

and reading one of my old guest posts for Kind Over Matter and remembering the wisdom I somehow sometimes tap into

(as I get older, I see more and more how broken the systems are. but also how much beauty there really is. even after the worst thing happens.)