connectioning: poem, art, emotions, love




upside 
          down


down 
under
folded
into
pieces
losing
continental
                    shifts
                    broken
                    apart
                    like
                    lost
                    (      )
                    wings

_______________________

that's meant to be read as an echo of "lost", those parentheses. a fading echo. 

another gift poem. when I didn't mean to poem today, it just happened. 

I made that photo this morning, tintyped, from a series I took yesterday very early in the bath. (why was I up so early? it's a mystery. I woke, I took a bath, I went back to sleep. mystery.)

________________________

my mom has an oncology appointment next week. 

(plus one day; I'm in Australia, a day ahead.)

yes, that means what it means everywhere: my mom has an oncology meeting next week. to talk about her cancer. to go over the possibilities. hopefully to get the bigger picture and understand better what is going on with her body. to formulate a plan. 

it's scary and awful and sad. and big, so big. 

it's a journey. it's life. 

it's definitely hard to process with (public) words, though I am. 

it's easier in the poeming. 

(it's easier because I have practiced poeming out big emotions over and over and over again. thank you.)

I need both. the blunt and the poetic. the private and the public. the intimate and the detached. I need them all. 

(connectioning.)

__________________________

I finished up my 365 project of 2018 and mashed my videos together yesterday. there's a short version (one video from each day) and a longer version of two videos from each day. I'll post them on Facebook soon. 

I made compilations of each month the same way, during the year. 

it was a fun project and it's even more fun to go back and watch. how different the beginning of the year to the end. from California to California again (interesting) but in what a different way. not to mention the difference between the first part of the year - in our apartment - and the second part, on the road. 

(this is such an amazing adventure.)

it came to me as I was making the mashups that I definitely want to continue this project for another year (at least). but add to it. put an artistic spin on it. take it a step further. 

(connectioning.)

double exposure videos. 

(I've done these in the past and I love doing them and what better way to get better at something than to practice doing it for a whole year?!)

specifically, it occurred to me to use video and photos from this year and from ten years ago. that's about when I started getting seriously into photography, so I have a lot of photos I can use. (not as many videos. and definitely not something from every day - I didn't start doing a photo a day type projects until later - but I can work around that by using the closest date. it's a practice, not a perfect. 

(ten years ago is the first time I remember M and I formulating a plan for what we would do when he got sabbatical  in 2010 he took a position at a new University and his sabbatical time line reset, so it didn't happen as quickly as it could have. but it happened. it's here. we're IN it!)

these double exposures also link me back to my double exposure selfie projects. and to the archival lex series. 

(connectioning.)

at the same time, I think I'll also continue doing the not double exposure video series everyday, too. 

(since the app I'm using - 1se - doesn't synch between Android and iOS, it'd be easy enough to do both, I think. scratch that, I have a pro account:  I can make as many projects as I want on my iPad! the Android app is not nearly as functional, and I'm happier to do it all on one device.)

I'm a tad bit worried that I'll get overwhelmed having to make art everyday. so I'm committing to the double exposures for a month and go from there. 

more than likely, it will get easier as I go and I'll continue. 

(or not. commit to a month and see.)

connectioning

yes.